Visiting Afghanistan: ethical questions?

[peaceful_world]

Is this a serious question?

Yes, it is a serious question. I've newly discovered this community. I'm here to seek expanded opportunities for fulfulling engagement with central Asia when it's feasible to travel again. I've started to learn Russian while I twiddle my thumbs and wait for the world to reopen.

Although I feel like I've unwittingly wandered into a room full of angry bees, I appreciate and value the perspective that you're sharing about selfish and exploitive people taking advantage of locals. I don't believe that I take advantage of locals, though I also worry about showering people with extraordinary gifts that will cause internal strife and dislocation within their community. I don't know all of the answers, but I try to be reflective and well-intended.

I am well aware of the tradition of hospitality in the region, and I strive in every case to express ample, genuine gratitude to my generous hosts and occasional saviors. It's a shame if others don't embrace the golden rule.

Do you honestly think that every tourist who accepts an invitation from a local person goes around buying all the supplies and food required for their meal?

I don't know. Reading the room, I take it that many of you feel that all western travelers are evil and universally harmful. I've certainly met a few unpleasant tourists along the way. I haven't arrived at the conclusion that they're all vampires serially exploiting the poor. I don't think I am.

I'll spend some more time reading back through the forums and trying to get a better sense of the community. Perhaps this thread is an outlier, but I question whether I'll get much value out of these forums if the singular MO is to heap contempt on aspiring travelers.

Beyond raising the well-founded concern about selfishness and cheapness, are there any other thoughts about what makes the original post so objectionable? I read it through a (perhaps naive) lens of someone eager to build connections and experience a different view of the story than we see in the warmongering western media. Right or wrong, I see tourism as an indicator of an open and healthy society.

[Hugues]

Am I to understand that this makes me an exploitive sociopath? How should I do better? Is it inherently evil for me to want to see the world and meet its people, helping out where I can?

Is this a serious question?

Do you honestly think that every tourist who accepts an invitation from a local person goes around buying all the supplies and food required for their meal?

The obvious reality for those familiar with the region is that local traditions of hospitality often include the extension of invitations that the locals cannot afford. Accepting these invitations often places a considerable burden on the local families, who will feel compelled to provide generously regardless of their ability. Tourist are often oblivious to hardships they are imposing, and even if it does occur to them to provide compensation (and for many it will not occur to them at all) they lack the ability to do so in a suitably discreet or non-insulting way.

You only need to look at all the posts from people who want to hitch-hike for for free (despite it clearly being local practice for people to pay fr their rides when they hitch-hike) to see how this mentality pervades many tourists or "travelers."

ok,
but then what do you suggest if we receive such invitation along the way ?
Is it better to refuse ?
asking honestly,
or if it's ok to accept, what is a discreet way to contribute to the cost of the meal ?

[Edmund]

I believe that there is also another side to "repaying the hospitality". I've seen many westerners having this kind of savior complex, where they felt the need to be extremely hospitable even when it was uncalled for.

I feel like there is often this mentality (perhaps related to western capitalism) that everything, even a simple social interaction has a price. This can lead to tourists trying to repay the hospitality in ways that can be quite insulting (eg. straight up offering money). Also leads to foreigners becoming viewed as a source of money.

Not to mention that not every "westerner" is rich and not everyone can afford to buy a dinner for a whole family, even in Central Asia.

It's always best to first familiarize oneself with the culture and with what is expected of a person in various social situations. If no repayment is expected, it's ok not to give anything back. Or perhaps just a very small gift.
Also ideally not accepting invitations which you know they cannot afford.

As for me, I try to repay the sincere invitations that I get firstly with treating the people with respect, as my equals. Secondly I try to offer the same kind of hospitality which I recieved to others, also in my home country. If I see that someone genuinely needs help, I try to offer it to them, irregardless if they are in the "west" or "east" .

[bwv812]

Not to mention that not every "westerner" is rich and not everyone can afford to buy a dinner for a whole family, even in Central Asia.

If you believe that Western tourists visiting a country/region with a much lower cost of living is unable to to afford to buy dinner for a whole family, then why would that tourist believe that the local family could afford to buy them dinner?

It's always best to first familiarize oneself with the culture and with what is expected of a person in various social situations. If no repayment is expected, it's ok not to give anything back.

Yes, but obviously most tourists do not do this, and when the local customs are fundamentally different to your native mindset, it's very easy to wrong-foot yourself even if your intentions are good.

The entire idea of hospitality is that it doesn't expect to be paid back. This lack of expectation doesn't mean that they expected you to accept their offer or that they can afford what they offered.

[bwv812]

Is this a serious question?

Yes, it is a serious question.

Christian shared the example of people taking advantage of the hospitality of poor locals "feeding you a dinner that they can't afford to give" and then snapping an instagram pic. You appear to have somehow interpreted this as possibly attacking what you did when you were the one giving food to local family. That's why I asked if you were serious: the situations did not appear to be at all comparable, which you also seemed eager to acknowledge with your jibe against "emotionally stunting social media."

I don't know. Reading the room, I take it that many of you feel that all western travelers are evil and universally harmful.

Again, I don't know how you could read Christian's comment criticizing someone who wants to blithely motorbike through Afghanistan and think that he was talking about the inherent evilness of Western tourists. Virtually no Western tourists are entertaining such plans at the moment, and haven't for decades.

I'll spend some more time reading back through the forums and trying to get a better sense of the community. Perhaps this thread is an outlier, but I question whether I'll get much value out of these forums if the singular MO is to heap contempt on aspiring travelers.

I'm not sure what was so problematic with Christian's post which pointed out the various ways OP's idea was spectacularly bad. Mild discouragement is unlikely to dissuade OP, and in fact I rather doubt OP's views have actually changed despite the views given here. If you want to suggest a very bad plan to this forum, you will probably told why it is bad, and I think there is considerable value in that.

Beyond raising the well-founded concern about selfishness and cheapness, are there any other thoughts about what makes the original post so objectionable? I read it through a (perhaps naive) lens of someone eager to build connections and experience a different view of the story than we see in the warmongering western media. Right or wrong, I see tourism as an indicator of an open and healthy society.

As I said earlier, someone who wants to take a motorbike trip from Dushanbe to Islamabad, and whose only question is about whether the borders are open, is an immense red flag. Security and broader logistical concerns in Afghanistan are not (or should not be) some obscure, secondary consideration. Plenty of people traveling into even relatively safe regions like the Wakhan corridor have made much more conscientious inquiries about safety and conditions than OP did.

The vast majority of Christian's post also expresses the problematic aspects of the original post.

And yes, if there was a bustling tourism sector in Afghanistan that would be a good indicator. Perhaps the utter lack of one is also an indicator?

[Edmund]

Yes, but obviously most tourists do not do this

Well, there's the root of the problem. How can tourism exist without attracting people with no regards for their surroundings? I really don't know...

I personally believe that with a little empathy and some experience, it's relatively easy to tell a genuine and seriously meant offer of hospitality from one that is said rather as a politeness and is not expected to be accepted. (Learning to navigate all the layers of Iranian taarof has been quite the crash course in this)

For me, being from central-eastern Europe and never having earned too much money, I never could really afford to travel in such a way that some people here do. Still, I decided to travel because I wanted to learn about the world and see it with my own eyes. While I sometimes could not afford to help those around me, at the minimum I did not want to bring any more harm. And yes, that's such a tricky path to navigate, since the indirect effects of one's actions are so complex..

[bwv812]

I think that taarof is actually a good example of just how challenging it is to actually internalize social rules like hospitality even if you theoretically know them.

Like, despite knowing the general rule of asking/refusing three times, it's incredibly difficult to actually wrap your head around this when in Iran, because it really does feel alien to most Westerners who are much more straightforward in their offers. What makes this even more challenging is that just because an offer is genuine doesn't mean that it's not also a hardship on the people who are offering. Absent any obvious trappings of wealth, it's usually safe to assume that people are quite poor and that hospitality is effectively a burden on them (not least because they will be overly generous to foreigners).

[The_Horse]

hope the suffering brown people don't spoil your enjoyment or wreck your mood. But we all know that at the bottom of the tourism barrel is inhabited by selfish sociopaths. So do what you are designed to do. Post a selfie of the Afghan family feeding you a dinner that they can't afford to give. I hope you realize that deep down you are a horrible person and the reason you travel alone so often is that nobody wants to be around you.

What on earth is wrong with you?

[netllama]

hope the suffering brown people don't spoil your enjoyment or wreck your mood. But we all know that at the bottom of the tourism barrel is inhabited by selfish sociopaths. So do what you are designed to do. Post a selfie of the Afghan family feeding you a dinner that they can't afford to give. I hope you realize that deep down you are a horrible person and the reason you travel alone so often is that nobody wants to be around you.

What on earth is wrong with you?

Seriously, this thread should be a case study in gate keeping. It takes a crazy lack of self awareness to believe that verbally abusing a person is going to concince them that your view is right, and their's is wrong.

[The_Horse]

As I said earlier, someone who wants to take a motorbike trip from Dushanbe to Islamabad, and whose only question is about whether the borders are open, is an immense red flag.

I have friends and contacts still working in Kabul who are telling me it's safe (except for one). The border question they don't know.

What a mean, weird and unexpected turn this thread took. Personally, I feel you can read more of Christian's personality and mindset than you can from my question. Sort of sounds like he's a dark place. No bad feelings from me. I wish him well. We've all been there.